There is something about dating an older man that gives a Sex & The City vibe, but there’s a lot more to dating a Mr. Big. This has nothing to do with a daddy complex or fetish if that’s what you’re thinking.
When dating I’ve usually entertained men with more life experience than I. The oldest my senior was 20 years if I’m being honest. No, I wasn't a "kept" so think again. In actuality he exuded a spirit like none other I ever came across.
His thoughts alone were so parallel to mine that it keep me speechless on numerous occasions.
Tweet This #BestieTip
At the time I was 21 and fresh into the “real world.” In other words I was super foolish to keep it simple. Don’t get me wrong he didn’t take advantage of the situation. He was the type of man that set the standard. The way he treated me caused me to never entertain a man who couldn't offer me more, if not the same.
As a gay person I didn’t necessarily have a role model to set an example for the kind of man to date. Yes, my father was in my life, but the topic of same sex love was never a discussion. This causes most of us in the gay community to date with little to no direction.
Personally speaking I made a few errors along the way, but thanks to experiencing the right older man it provided me guidance.
Choose a man who isn’t looking to take advantage of you or control you. There are many out there looking to do so. Beware. Your job is to pay close attention to what he says and how he says it.
One man once said, “Your mind and body is mine.” Hearing those words never sat well with me, but at the time I opted to ignore the signal. (This was from another man prior to Mr. Big)
Rule 1: Listen To What He Says
This is major. A more experienced man knows how to wear a mask if he really wants to. At some point he will eventually show you who he is. Whether the topic is about politics or feelings on a hot button topic you must pay attention. If he’s hiding his truth there will be a crack somewhere in his surface or foundation.
After listening closely to what certain men would say on an initial date I knew by the end of the hour we weren’t a match. No need to think your picking is slim yet. Focus more on the fact that this one man in particular just isn’t the one for you.
Rule 2: Learn More About Yourself
Dating exposes so much of who we are as individuals. Stop and look at yourself too just as much as you examine the person across the table. As you grow its natural to change and honor your feelings. Abide by those emotions or you’ll regret them later.
Rule 3: Leave If It Isn’t Right
Many of us stay in situations due to a slew of reasons whether if its loyalty, time, or fear. Cut the bull as quickly as you can. Time is far too precious to give it to anyone that isn’t worthy of it.
Run. Run. Run.
Keep in mind getting yourself an older man doesn't guarantee anything. The point is meeting the right man. Take these three keys with you and see where it takes you!