Time and time again we've all entertained a guy we technically have no ties to, but yet hand over all our attention. You know the one we text all day, all night, in the bathroom, and get butterflies we attempt to battle. Its cute and all, but you’re setting yourself up for complete failure.
Giving one man all your attention with no verbally commitment makes life a hot mess. You consider him as your main squeeze, but he sees you as a team player. Question is are you starting or warming the bench?
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Exhale real quick and get hip to this. Multi-dating doesn’t mean you’re fast or easy. This means you’re on a mission to find what you want.
I for one consistently dated more than one guy at a time, especially if there was no discussion of being exclusive.
Take note you should be doing the same.
Only commit to a man when you’ve both unanimously. For the record I’m not saying sleep around or let it all hang loose, but you deserve options too. Options allow self-discovery and help you acquire the caliber you want.
At one point I date different guys for different occasions. There was one I took to the theater, another for walks in the park, and one I would cooked with. The whole time I was measuring to see what I really wanted in a man or needed.
I repeat this is what you should be doing if you're single.
Your time is precious and any man you're involved with should respect and understand that. Spare yourself the headache and making selections.
Let’s break them down into four misters...
Mr. Good Potential
This kind of guy is far too common. You know the one who says all the right things, makes you feel good, and has the bomb convo, but doesn’t seal the deal. In other words he’s aka Mr. Waste of Time.
The point of dating is to learn about your wants, needs, and desires. A man stringing you along for fun isn’t cool. He has to put in solid effort especially after the age of 25. I’m not saying he has to be ready for marriage, but having some sense of his wants/needs is required for a successful relationship.
After all if a relationship isn’t where you're heading then what’s the destination? A movie?
Mr. Right Now
I’ve never believed in this one. Too many times I’ve witnessed friends jump into relationships simply for convenience oppose to ultimate desires. Granted no one is 100% of what we want, but there's more to it.
Mr. Right Now is another example of simply settling for what’s ok. In actuality, you’re just saying you’re not deserving of who and what you want. In that case, you might as well stay single.
For the record my friends who usually dated Mr. Right Now ended up cheating anyway.
In the legendary words of Destiny's Child Circa ’97 “No, No, No”
He is the mistake waiting to happen or keeps happening. He usually knows how to put it down sexually and charm the hell out of you, but not worth the trouble. He’s the heartbreaker that’s too caught up in his bad boy ways. Your gut reminds you over and over about him, but your too blind to want to believe it.
Never commit to him, but play with him if you so choose.
He’s not perfect, but he’s just right for you. He comes with qualities to help you grow and treats you the way you deserve. The relationship itself will have its hurdles, but the goal is to grow together and sticking it out!
You’ll know when it’s right just listen to your gut it’ll tell you in the end.