A few weeks ago I hopped on Facebook Live and said, “Cute after 25 isn’t enough.” At the time I was discussing a course set to launch later that month. I used relationships as an example pertaining to the importance of leverage.
This gave me the idea to elaborate a little more on some dating deal breakers that come into play after the hump of 25. I’ve been one those foolish newbies not quite sure what I was looking for or how to properly articulate what I wanted.
In our early twenties, we’re normally having fun and taking a guy for what he offers. For example, living at home is forgiven, in-between jobs can be understanding, and shooting the breeze to find yourself might even get a pass. Once 25 hits it's like all that becomes a HELL NO signal.
Any relationship whether it be business, platonic, or romantic it's all about what you bring to the table. In other words your assets. Although I’m not one for all traditions, men are usually raised to be providers. Even me as a gay man I pride myself on what I can do for myself and offer in a relationship.
The boo thang has this theory properly called “2 Out of 3.” He wouldn’t entertain any guy who didn’t at least have 2 out of 3 must haves. You’re probably now wondering what are 3 must haves…
A Place to Live
These were his bare minimum qualifications to move forward with a guy. I guess I was lucky to have all three.
I, on the other hand, have always been more of an observer and required a little more before wanting to commit. A man with drive and focus was always on my weakness. There’s a difference from one who has dreams and one that has the drive to create them. Hand me over the creator because in today’s day and age no one is handing out anything.
After 25 you drop all the wannabes and fu*k boys. Time is the only thing we’ll never get back in life and wasting it is a no go. Drop that ass as soon as you detect the inner scrub starting to surface.
1.) All Talk
There’s nothing worse than a bullsh*tter. With the rise of social media, the increase of posers have certainly tripled. These highlight reel accounts have some of us fooled in thinking everyone’s winning or living like Jay & Beyonce. Beware of these chumps and start weeding them out quickly.
It's highly recommended to be with a man who’s honest with where he’s at and working towards. Any man willing to lie about his life has the power to lie about anything.
2.) Selfish Sex
Didn’t we learn how to share back in grade school?
Believe it or not, there are a few who haven’t learned this lesson in the bedroom. Sex is a passionate experience where both parties should enjoy. Long gone are days when we use to say, “Satisfying him satisfies me.” What? That’s dead.
Your satisfaction is just as important as his. Be sure to get yours just as he plans on getting his.
3.) Bad Tempered
Tina Turner already paid the coast so wouldn't have to. If you don't know what I’m referring to you officially have homework to do.
A man who puts his hands on you out of anger or damages property is immediately disqualified. There’s absolutely no excuse or line of understanding for this behavior. If he can’t use your words and resorts to anger for self-expression a relationship isn't what he needs. That's called counseling.
There’s a fine line between arrogance and confidence. Confidence is an energy that is acknowledged with little to no words. Arrogance, on the other hand, leaves a bad taste. It's always sexier to come across a man who speaks with his presence and allows his aura to do the talking.
Although you’re dating someone it doesn’t mean you're joined at the hip. You’re still very much your own person. The only difference now is your romantic status and choosing to share your life with another.
Don’t lose the core of who you are in the process of sharing your life.
6.) No Manners
It’s always been a mission of mine to date an open-minded man. Coming from a Caribbean background my heritage differs from the typical American traditions. The thought of dating man who was closed off to my culture would be lines of termination.
It's simply inconsiderate. As adults living in a heavily diverse country, it's imperative to open our horizons to bridge gaps in our society.
7.) Playing Games
If he’s still about playing the field and entertaining others that’s perfectly fine. He’s made his choice and leaves him there. There is no need to chase after a man who doesn’t see you as enough. Especially if you’ve discussed working on a monogamous relationship.
Who really has time to convince someone else of your worth? This goes back to the rule of teaching people how to treat you. No matter what the statistics say there’s literally ALWAYS another man out there.
The unemployed aspiring rapper at 18 was adorable, but something has to give. There has to be some sort of plan to acquire revenue and if he’s not doing that call it a wrap.
We all have dreams, but continuously running into a brick wall is proof to switch it up. The headache isn’t worth the trouble. There are actual men out there looking for someone like you. Now go ahead and get you one!
9.) No Assets
With age, the importance of ownership grows even more. Pay close attention to how he handles his finances and what he owns. He should at least be on his way to owning a car, a home, or something he can convert into dollars.
You’re looking for the kind of man you can later build a future with.
Some may say dating gets harder with age, but I see it as the pool gets narrowed down. Put yourself out there and get what you want.