A few months ago I shared some key points of what gay men thought of women. It's only right that I address you all too. Relax this isn’t a post set out to drag you for filth, but more so a way for us to find a common ground of understanding.
First things first, let’s be real we haven't really had the most interaction following our days in homeroom. Although you remain as the dominant orientation, those like myself have formulated our own subculture. This makes it pretty hard to build a bridge of humanity and tear down the wall of division.
Along the way, there’s been this misconception that gay men either lurk or have a heighten interest in you. If we’re being frank yes there are a some of you, we find attractive, but that DOESN’T necessarily mean we want to engage with you sexually. For example, on a day to day basis, you come across an array of women. Do you want to sleep with them all? (Be for real)
This simply boils down to preference. Believe it or not, some of us actually, have a type and sometimes you don’t foot the bill. We understand the code of ethics in society and some of us aren’t interested in crossing that line of respect for both you and ourselves.
In school, the guys who would pride themselves on their hyper-masculinity and male bravado were easily the ones interested in my sexual identity. The approach was usually cynical and on the verge of humiliated. This would only lead me to believe that he was either battling with his own sexual identity or ignorant to gay men as a whole.
There are two distinctive ways to approach a gay man. Keep in mind one form is platonic and the other is romantic.
Act like yourself. We can pick up on your sexuality from the initial interaction. Yes, it's like a sixth sense. By the way, you don't have to declare to the world you like women or state, “No homo” when speaking to us. Saying that actually makes you sound super guilty and down low.
SB: Ladies just because you witness a straight man having a conversation with a gay man doesn't mean he’s interested in him either. Those suspicions add to the ignorant gay stereotypes and barriers between gay and straight men (especially those of color).
If you were interested this is simply where you would start flirting, but let's not forget you don't need any tips because you’re… straight!
Personally, I believe sexuality is more so gray than it is black and white. This may confuse you, but follow me. I identify myself as a gay man, but I have an attraction to masculinity. For example, there have been lesbians who carry themselves with a masculine energy I find attraction to. This doesn’t mean I want to sleep with them either. It’s only an attraction. After all, I’m in a committed relationship. Don’t be messy. Tisk Tisk.
I’ve realized those who’ve had the most issue with my sexuality either secretly were gay themselves or feared what they did not understand. This isn’t meant to get you ready to march in the next gay pride parade or attend a gay marriage, but more so to slow down the judgment.
A few times I’ve heard from straight men that I’ve changed their perspective on gay men after meeting me. This is merely after taking the time to get know me for who I am opposed to blinding themselves with stereotypical judgment.
The only thing that really divides us all as people are the labels. Once we decide to judge character instead of labels a significant shift will occur.