As a product of a two-parent household, I’ve learned so much when dating someone from a single parent household. Early on I never really knew how much of a factor it would play, but now I see it.
A (platonic) girlfriend and I recently had a heart to heart about the topic. We both had the privilege of coming from a two-parent household (each with a present mother and father). Other known as the traditional Haitian-American home.
Some years ago I remember watching a speech by Lauryn Hill where she mentioned the weight we carry into our relationships as adults.
At the time I was about 22, but never experienced a serious relationship. Now in my late twenties, I completely see where she was coming from. In my current relationship, I understand how the boo thang has been effected by a single parent household.
I admit we’ve had our “petty” arguments over things that stemmed from perspectives and misunderstanding. I grew up watching my parents work as a team where decisions were discussed before made in most cases.
He, on the other hand, was raised by a single mother with three other siblings and the only male. He saw her work for everything on her own. As a result, he’s inherited those same traits. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but differs from the example I've witnessed how a relationship. I see it more as a team effort oppose solo situation.
This isn’t a bashing segment for single parents because life happens to all of us, but I see how we’re products of our environment and our childhood experiences. No, Sway I don’t have the answers to this issue, but I do have my opinion.
When entering a relationship it's so important to reflect where the other person is coming from. I think a lot us mistakenly assume what a relationship is, but have yet realized we create the actual perimeters. I admit he and I haven’t really had a lot of those deep discussions. Keep in mind I didn't realize these traits until we started living under the same roof. For the record there’s a complete difference living with someone and dating someone.
Moving forward I see the two of us creating a middle ground of understanding. He has his way of communicated and I have mine, so to say it'll take some time is an understatement.
Try and learn how your “boo thang” communicates and present it to him/her in fashion, which they can join the conversation with ease. This may not go easy breeze, but it's a conversation worth having. These are things that come along with being in a relationship.
Achieving an understanding may not happen overnight and probably won’t, but with time and open minds, you’ll get there.
Coming from a single parent household isn’t a choice, but if you are a person who comes from one take a moment in reflect and examine your experience. See how its molded you into the person you are now.