In a time where nearly everyone is either “talking” or calming a situationship the love lines have become extremely blurred. Lately, most of my girlfriends have been asking the same questions, What are we? Where is this going?
As I’ve said in the past, dating is all about getting to know your personal wants and needs. I have to ask, have you done that yet?
If not, get to it!
This means date a lot and date frequently. No, don’t start sleeping around, but take the time to set up a few dates and start exploring the different types of men who may be compatible with you.
During this process, it's so important to do some crucial self-discovery and see if you prefer being single or fully committed. By the way, when I say committed I mean an actual serious relationship. There’s absolutely no point of hopping into a relationship solely for convenience, especially after 25. Right?
Once you figure out what you’re looking for by all means avoid all situationships. Using that term is a flat out cop out. We’re all adults and using our words is essential a must in communicating and getting what we want. Oh and there’s also no need to be apologetic or apprehensive in being direct. I know for some this may be a turn-off, but do you really have any more time to waste?
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At the end of the day, titles matter because it allows all parties to be fully aware of intentions and possible expectations.
Yes, you must discuss expectations too. Breaking them down lessens those moments of disappointments. At times we tend to believe that others automatically know what we’re thinking, which is by far from the truth. Relationships take a lot of time and effort so heavily communicating is necessary.
No worries, not every conversation will be about your feelings, but your intentions should always be clear with whoever you’re getting to know. Don’t be afraid to be the one to speak up first. Fear can be crippling, but that’s no excuse. The more time you waste on Mr. Wrong you’re missing out on Mr. Right.
In my single days, I made it clear with whoever I was getting to know that I was dating in hopes of a relationship. This doesn’t mean I desperate either. Have the patience to feel someone out first and enjoy the process of just having a crush. Wanting a relationship or putting a title on whatever you’re doing is not a sign of weakness, but more so says the kind of person you are.
Weeding out the guys looking to just dangle you around for the meantime saves you from disappointment or a heartache later.
Get to dating intentionally and start speaking up for whatever it is you want in someone. Then follow that up with what your title is. This is only to keep the communication lines crisp and clear. If he can’t handle it move right along to the next and title him your official past!